Blighted Bellies n Pelvic Dreams

My journey to having a baby as a 38 yo with undetected Pelvic Inflammation Disease

Wasn’t too good till I met the doc

Went for my follow up checkup. If the bloomin lil ranga sperm had stayed put, then it would have been a great visit but, they hadn’t. So, off to face the doctor by myself. Not too keen………

Great turnaround then when the doc stated on the way into his room that he was pissed at the results. Why hadn’t they stuck longer? The embryos were perfect, beyond perfect! Bloody good looking actually!!! He said that pretty much, then said in the next breath that we will get it next time!!!!

Yes! Yes! Yes!!!

We recapped my case, reviewed the stats and data, checked out my embryo report card, egg count, double yolker problem (very keen genes to chase girls!) and ranga partner’s sperm roll call!

Feeling MUCH better!!!!!

Bring on round 2 🙂

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The answer is……..

Well, its been a few days since last post. Had so many ideas for new post and just as many excuses for not following thru….
1. Don’t want to jinx it.
2. Too tired.
3. Too sore.
4. Too bloated.
5. Feeling too damn good.
5. Don’t want to jinx it.
And so goes the vicious circle……

Well, I felt good because it was good!

Decided to do home test at 4am on the day of the blood test, just before my ranga partner goes to work, so we could share results together.

Hmmmmmm, no results 😦 nothing to see so was hanging for the official blood test. Came thru and my hcg was 10. Not good but told to follow thru on the next test 2 days later in case it was a late bloomer. Nope again, only dropped to 6 when was waiting for zero or a negative.

Ok then, so I WAS pregnant at some stage. Those pains were real! The tender boobs were genuine not under the influence of drugs. A small consolation but hey, after 12 years wait, I will take whatever I can get.

Next time……:-)

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THE transplant, aka the planting!!!!

Funny how it all happened actually. In some stages it felt like a bad Benny Hill movie but more about that as we go.

We were booked in for 9:15am with a 10am delivery time so decided to deliver some furniture to the step-daughter’s new first-time-moved-out flat on the way. This meant leaving at 5am! I can handle 5:something but not getting up at 4:something.

The furniture was delivered, more stuff packed to bring home, then off into the city.

I was dropped out the front, abused by the cafe owner for using her cafe as an entry to the clinic (I didn’t see the wkend entrance next her cafe till after oops!), walked inside and starting drinking, drinking and drinking as I had been directed!

Drinking water for ultrasounds is usually ok but my abdomen had been so sore, tender, empty but full from the EPU (egg pick up) that the water was a slow agony.

We were called in for our brief with embryologist who, ahhhhhh….gave us our own first pics of our freckly-ranga-blastocysts taken 2 hours previously. THE KIDS were real, in our hands. Our lil union in print!! Wanted to tear up truthfully………big breaths! Treasure!!!!

Sent back out to drink, met the girls from the recovery room from EPU time and drank more.

In the room, it was so small that we were pushing past each other as my partner was as nervous as I was. He was in charge of the ultrasound and held it hard, very hard, on my swollen, full, tender belly after the magic planting spot was found by the nurse.

Imagine this. Behind a small curtain, legs up, at eye height for the nurse, lit up inside and out, and theres a knock on the door.

It opens from the outside.

“I have a delivery. I need you to sign here.”

A delivery, on a Saturday!!! My ranga reckons it was the stork just stopping by!!!!! Lol!

Back to the matter at hand, push again on that ultrasound, then the nurse drops…..something! Not the blastocysts….phew!!

In for another look and she says, “Oooooooo!” What?????? “You have an extremely small cervical opening and we will need to use a stiffener.”

Now, I had told everyone, asked everyone, at every appointment, as my regular GP tried to insert a mireena (iud?) years ago with agonizing, painful, unsuccessful results. Everyone I had told said they did it all the time and my GP was unexperienced and thats why he had problems.

Wrong answer!! I have an extremely small cervical opening, and theres 2 walls to it.

Press hard on the ultrasound, pop thru one wall of the cervix, get the kids, pop thru the other wall, grab hard on the man’s shirt and breathe thru gritted teeth!

Then the magic words…..”DONE!”

Off the table, get dressed and stand there chatting to the nurse and embryologist about next steps…….unofficially pregnant!

Next, we hope they stick, head to a toilet stop and to a pub for lunch, avoiding potholes, sharp corners and speed bumps! (Pretty sure they can’t fall out! Lol!!)

Fingers crossed! X

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PID is not a personal identification device :-}

When I was told I had Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID), I googled the ole google and all sorts of acronyms were revealed! Projection, identification and databases were some of the options.

But nowhere were there any blogs about pelvic inflammatory disease AND blighted ovum miscarriage. Yeah sure, there lots of technical info. Mums on the mummy pages telling everyone how much pain they were in. PICTURES of a miscarried production of conception (who’d take photos I ask you!). People telling others to let miscarriages happen naturally.

So I decided to start this blog.

Twelve and 1/2 years ago I was pregnant. Second month of trying and BAM! The job was done! I had some staining at the 4, 8 and around 12 week mark. On the Friday, it was a little more than usual then started with fresh bleeding that night.

Over the weekend, the bleeding worsened. I miscarried in the shower and had to wait till Monday morning to have an ultrasound to find out what was happening.

The ultrasound showed an empty space.

I was booked in for a D&C that day and was home that night to recover. But my bleeding never stopped. Over a few weeks, I drove the one hour trip to see my GP quite a few times.
I had 6pm appointments.
I went on the pill to regulate me.
I had an external ultrasound (because GP said people are uncomfortable with internals even tho it would have been a better option!)
I took a course of antibiotics.
I saw the GP near my work for a second opinion ( he told to get specialist help!)
But still I kept bleeding- to the point that one day alone I went home 2 times to change clothes!

And that was the final straw. I called the travelling gyno who needed a referral. I rang my GP who then decided, after 4 weeks if consulting them that I could be bleeding to death from an ectopic pregnancy!!!

Another gyno was immediately booked, plans made, and I was there within 4 hours. An internal was done, problem found and another D&C booked for the next day.

Problem solved, or so I thought.

After months of trying again and again, I never fell pregnant. I was put onto Clomid to no avail. My blood tests came back fine saying I had ovulated every month. My husband was above average. And no options were suggested.

Over the years I have been diagnosed and undiagnosed with PCOS as my cycle is totally frustrating! I have had a hysteroscopy and laproscopy to check my plumbing. Ultrasounds, blood tests, crystal therapy, changed partners….. you name it, I’ve done it!

Then a new doctor gets my facts and WALLAH! We have an answer!!! Twelve years problems solved in 12 minutes!!! (I believe it explains my regularity problems as well)

My retained products miscarriage from a blighted ovum pregnancy, would have caused an internal infection which has damaged the lil hairs in my fallopian tubes that push the eggs down :))) THE answer!!!!!

I now understand about the feeling of closure. Xo

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Two worked…while 3 went into overtime!

I didn’t want to be one of those people nagging, waiting, ringing the embryologist but I looked down yesterday and my phone was permanently in my hand……waiting for THE call!

Then it came.

Angela told me that 2 had fertilised beautifully 🙂
Another 3 had also been fertilised….by 2 sperm each (Those are determined ranga sperm!) but that made them unusable as they had 69 chromosomes instead of 46.
One didn’t fertilise at all 😦

I was ecstatic!!!!

Angela was happy too as she said sometimes there are issues with total compatibility between sperm and eggs……Ranga’s were definitely keen to meet my girls!!!!

So now, we wait. I can ring daily to check their progress. If there are any problems before Saturdays planting, they will ring us.

Will I ring???? Nah, probably not.
Ok I will!!!!

Before Angela hung up and I said a massive thanks, I asked her to tell them (by their names!) that they are doing a wonderful job, to keep growing and will see them Saturday 🙂

Dorky? Yes! But surely it happens all the time……doesn’t it?! Lol!

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Six eggs :( but it only takes one to make baby.

The verdict was thru after the egg pick up.

There was a lot of discussion and figures about my partner’s sample. His was brilliant compared to the last 2 tests. Then, just incidentally, the embryologist said that I had six eggs. SIX????!!!!! The girl in the corridor was disappointed with her 11 because she had 17 last time.

SIX?!!!

My brain melted for a few minutes and the scientist said, ‘Oh weren’t you told yet? Yes there were 6 eggs and 10 follicles.’ Within about a minute I had to decide did we want to try ivf (eggs n sperm left to dance n find each other overnight in a petrie dish!) or prefer icsi (sperm inseminated into eggs by scientists). My head was full. I had to make a CHOICE??? You tell me I have six and in the next breath ask me what I want done??!!!!

Ranga (my partner xo) took control, bless him, and said to me that I had to decide. I said that I didn’t care, just do whatever the doctor suggested. He said, ‘No, you have to say it.’ And I couldn’t. My brain was fogged over. He told the embryologist to follow thru with ivf and wallah! The decision was made.

Phew!

As we fell asleep last night, I said to Ranga, ‘I hope those kids are having a good party without us!’

And I hope they did. Xo

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Say a little prayer for you….

Yesterday was pretty well non stop for egg pick up. Arrived at doctors, medical briefing about procedure, introduction to customer service guy who walked us to the hospital. Filled in papers, paid then was left with a volunteer until was time to ‘strip off n suit up’….about 3 mins in total!

It wasn’t until I was lying on the bed in the waiting booth (more like store room switched onto cold!), snuggly in two blankets that I started chatting to my follicles. I didn’t realise I was doing it but it went something like this…..

“Hey there. You have been causing me a bit of grief lately so i am hoping that you make this worth the effort. I know there are 6 big ones in there, but I hope the left side has kicked that right side into action and got onto the job too. Please little ovaries, please don’t let me down.”

I laid in that little icebox, listening to taps run (not good when you have been fasting!) and wished a silent wish that all was ok in my 38yo body.

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My weirdest shoot up!

Was on the way to the coast today to watch my sister jump out of a plan. We had to stop on the side of the highway, with the mother-in-law in the backseat. I gave my last injections, before the trigger tonight, while families walked behind me, yelling at their kids. Shooting up so i too can have that dream. Felt surreal knowing that there was a sharps container in my car all day. What if we got pulled over? What if the families at the roadside park said something?

You know what? Its just what i have to do:)

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Nausea and other fun after effects

Nausea, nausea, nausea. Standing, sitting, driving the car.
A constant full feeling, haven’t been hungry for over a week!
Sore, SORE boobs!!! Even when i roll over in my sleep!
Running, riding, rowing, all must wait, I wonder how long for?
Im not complaining really, just wondering if these symptoms will disappear with my eggs on Monday.

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THE scan!

THE scan absolutely blew me away! Anytime over the past 12 years, since my miscarriage, that a doctor has looked ‘down below’, it has been to fix problems and never have I received a definite answer to any of my questions. It’s been, “oooh you might have PCOS” or “yeah, um no, can see no reason why that is happening.”

Yesterday, I saw all the hard work my lil ovaries are doing. SIX big huge grape like follicles stared at me from my left side!!! SIX! The right side is still working on it but the gyno wasn’t concerned. I watched the measurements he took (been reading too many blogs!) and they were about 16-18mm across. With another week to go, that’s pretty impressive (from what other blogs say lol). Weirdly too, the right side hurt the most when internally probed. The left side was just a tad uncomfy but when prompted, the right side lifted my butt off the chair!!!! OUCHY!

It was just lovely to see my body doing something properly. It may be 38 yr old but its working just fine. Finally!

On the other hand tho, the second injection is giving me persisten, just-there nausea. From about 11:30am till I go to bed. Makes driving around a major city, special shopping trip, surprise visit to step daughter then driving 2 hours home, a very long day. And don’t even mention the head cold!!!!

Am just totally stoked!!!!!!!!!!!! Bring on pick up day next Monday 🙂

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