Blighted Bellies n Pelvic Dreams

My journey to having a baby as a 38 yo with undetected Pelvic Inflammation Disease

Caesarean? Natural birth? Next decision.

on June 27, 2013

I went to the GP on Tuesday for my first antenatal visit and she was lovely. I have a diary that I have tracked all my IVF milestones in, and now it will be my pregnancy one. I had a list of questions for her and she let me go through them. One of them tho was NOT-what type of delivery do I want? She suggests, she pretty well tells you very strongly, that a caesarean is the best and only option. No discussion.

She has all the right words to turn me off giving birth in our small local hospital where Ranga, his brothers n sister and both parents, were born. As I work in a small school about 20mins from home, in a very low socio-economic area, she knows a lot of the clientele I work with. She said that every child and parent who came to town shopping would stop in to say hi to Miss V and check out the baby. They would also have their 5 other children, Nanna and the best friend when they stopped in. If I am lucky, the other four beds in the maternity ward (makes no difference if yr private or public patient) would have at least one of their friends who they would then visit, go and have a smoke with, then return to say bye. Enough said.

Her other turning words were-do you know about the rectal damage caused from giving birth? Do you know how many mothers cant run, jump on a trampoline and so on with their kids in case they crap themselves? Urgh!

Her last words that were very true I think, were that I AM 38, will be 39 by the time the baby is born. Labour will be exhausting. I will be tired before giving birth from just being fat and 39. My body may not bounce back like a 20 yo. My muscles may not stretch like a 30 yo. Caesarean = 20 mins waa waa heres your baby! (her words exactly!)

So I am researching it. My friend the midwife is going to talk to us one weekend about both options. I am having lunch with a work colleague today who gave birth by caesarean to no. 4 when she was 39. I am meeting the suggested Ob for a chat next week.

Realistically, a caesarean is really where I am thinking now. I will be just excited to be having a baby, as long as it is safe and healthy I dont care how it gets here 🙂

Whats your thoughts? Please share!!!!!


8 responses to “Caesarean? Natural birth? Next decision.

  1. JustHeather says:

    I fully agree with “as long as it is safe and healthy I dont care how it gets here”, but from what I understand, healing time from vaginal birth is much faster! I would imagine that so even with age factored in. (I’ve only had one vaginal birth, when I was 36.) Not all L&D take forever, mine was quite short (3 hours of active labor and 6-7 hours of contractions at home). Yes, I was tired/exhausted afterward, but who wouldn’t be after pushing a baby the size of a small melon out your lady bits?!! No matter how long it takes. Also, you can always try for a natural birth and if it doesn’t work, go for c-section…

    In the end, as long as it isn’t an emergency where a c-section is needed, it is your decision on which route you take. Don’t let anyone push you into something you don¨t want.

  2. newtoivf says:

    I have zero experience in this area but do know that you can’t drive for a good few weeks after a c-section although not sure how necessary that it’s for your life, also a friend had real trouble bending over to pick the baby up at first… but then have other friends who have had real trouble sitting down after a natural birth… the choice is yours!

  3. Krystal says:

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my cesarian birth. Down side **Triggers** because I couldn’t move, I couldn’t see my little Willow but 2 times before she passed away in the 16 hours.

    My csection was amazing. I had no pain afterward. I was walking back and forth to the NICU within 18 hours, and within 1-2 days, I was up and walking as normal. I used no pain meds after the epidural wore off except for tylenol 2 x.

    My friends who did natural said it was so painful and they couldn’t sit, their lady bits were swollen and had to wear ice pads on their bits for a week.

    So, it comes down to, what are you more comfortable with?

  4. I would be wary of any doctor who said there’s only one way. If my doctor had told me I could only have a c-section, I would get a second opinion! Twins are more risky but women did deliver them successfully before modern medicine so it can be done! I just think doctors should be flexible because situations change so the doctor has to change too. Just ask my mother-in-law who has a horrible story from giving birth to my husband because the on-call doctor wasn’t flexible enough to consider a cesarean even though she clearly needed it.
    P.S. I’m more scared of a c section than a vaginal birth, even with twins. It’s surgery!!

  5. baylord1 says:

    I’ll be 38 1/2 at delivery. I had a c-section 10 years ago with my daughter because of failure to progress. The new doc I’m seeing suggested I just plan for another c-section. Either way they are delivering the last week of December.
    I’m with you, as long as my baby is safe, I don’t care how it gets here!

  6. dustymom says:

    Wow. Just WOW. So…the following is my opinion, but you asked for opinions. Take it or leave it at your discretion, but please, at least ask more questions of your doctor.

    I’m a nurse and I’m astounded at what your doctor said and how she said it. A c-sec is surgery – there is no way around that. Despite the fact that it is a fairly common surgery, it is still SURGERY with all the attendant risks – blood clot, infection, impaired wound healing etc.

    There is a time and a place for it, but to be pushing for it so aggressively, so early in your pregnancy seems inappropriate, unless there are other risk factors that you haven’t mentioned.

    You need a second opinion from someone in another practice if possible. “Best and only option” raises major red flags as well as just p***ing me off. LOL

    BTW, don’t get me wrong – I’m not anti-cesarean, but it’s not and shouldn’t be an automatic decision in an otherwise normal pregnancy. (Sorry, I don’t think 39 is an automatic.)

    ALSO, I’d start asking her how many of her vaginal birth patients had rectal damage – if it’s a high number/percentage, I’d be looking for another doctor. That’s the mark of poor medical care, not a “normal” sequelae of vaginal birth.

    Sorry to be such a downer, but I really think you got handed a large load of crap at that appointment. My colleague just got talked into an induction at 38 weeks. Baby wasn’t ready to come yet, so the labor stalled and she ended up with a c-section. Baby is fine, but her incision got infected and she spent an extra 10 days back in hospital and is still not well.

  7. Persephone says:

    I had a c-section. Never wanted it. Never planned for it. Aside from the first night strapped to the bed, I was up and fine the next day. I swam at least 3 times a week from week 24ish to week 39 (gave birth at 42weeks) and I think that helped. Getting up and down from lying wasn’t amazing, painful abs, but I “forgot” I even had surgery and just got on with life. Just my experience! P

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