Blighted Bellies n Pelvic Dreams

My journey to having a baby as a 38 yo with undetected Pelvic Inflammation Disease

My tragic scan

on February 12, 2013

I had been bleeding on and off, nothing fresh, for a whole weekend. After being yelled at by my husband on the Friday night for waiting all day for him to come home from work and then take me to the hospital, I found it easier to ring the doctor then worry him. My so-called beloved husband, had volunteered again to do overtime callouts for the weekend so that was fine by me.

The doctor on call was not my regular guy. But by the Sunday afternoon, I was mighty impressed with his service. I rang him around 8 times over the weekend. He desperately tried to use the ultrasound machine, of which he had absolutely no idea how to even turn on. He booked me in for the first scan of the day at the xray clinic, so at 8am I showed up, with my Mum in tow.

THAT scan was devastating. Heartbreaking. Empty. Tragic. Forever etched in my mind.

The empty chasm of my body was openly visible to me. The measurements showed 10 wks 6 days and 11 wks and 3 days, depending which way she was measuring. I was supposed to be 12 weeks and 2 days. The radiographer did not try to hide the screen, preferring to say nothing, just stating that my regular doctor would have the results straight away.

In next door to the doctors I walked and sat with my Mum. (As if my husband would leave work!!!) The on-call doctor walked past, squatted down and said something like, “How’d you get on last night? I didn’t hear from you.” Needless to say, he is now my regular doctor and I love him to bits 🙂

My doctor saw me straight away and before I knew it, I was in the local hospital awaiting a D&C as I had passed “big bits” over the weekend but was still bleeding.

Crying, I climbed onto the surgery table. The nurses were absolutely perfect. Even when the operating doctor said, “Do you realise what is happening? That you are having a curette and terminating your pregnancy?” Like it was a question. Like I had a choice. Like there was anything left to save. I saw the ultrasound. It was a vast, deserted wasteland. Clean it out and start again please!

I fell asleep crying and woke up the same way. 12 years on, that day is still etched into my memory.


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